The Science Behind "Showers" and "Growers"

Whether you have a regular kayak or an inflatable, they both carry you where you're going, even if you have to portage them over an obstacle in the river. Okay, this analogy got away from me.

You've no doubt heard the terms, "grower” and “shower." They’re sometimes used to explain the locker room disparity in penis size among men.

Of course, you'll almost never hear a "shower" use the term. It's used almost exclusively by "growers" and almost always defensively, usually after emerging from old man Swanson's pond where they and the other boys and girls on the yearbook committee went skinny-dipping that one June night.

The grower, in defense, will say something like "the water's cold!" but to no avail, because most women don't understand the mysteries of the penis. Most women assume that what they see in a man's relaxed state is what they might get in the bedroom.

The kind ones will tell you it doesn't matter while stealing furtive glances at the men who are showers and the really kind ones will just say a prayer for your diminutive member and hope you can find someone who’ll love you despite your literal shortcoming.

Oddly enough, many men don't understand this particular aspect of male physiology, either. The showers assume growers is just a term that men with small penises latch onto to protect their self esteem, the same way bald guys will sometimes assert that they have higher testosterone levels than guys with hair.

The growers, however, know that their expansive powers are considerable, but part of them still wonders if they're penile midgets compared to the showers.

The truth is, the growers have nothing to worry about and the explanation for this apparent but nonexistent disparity lies not only in their genes, but their jeans.

The Costanza Syndrome

It turns out that the term "growers or showers" describes a real phenomenon, the reason for which reveals itself at the molecular level. We first need to note that the penis is comprised of three fibrous "cylinders," each of which, when aroused, fills with blood to construct an erection.

These cylinders themselves are comprised of a fibrous weave of collagen and elastin, two compounds that give the erect penis its unique combination of rigidity and flexibility. However, the ratio of these two substances varies greatly from man to man.

If your cylinders are comprised of more collagen and less elastin, you're a shower. If you have less collagen and more elastin, you're a grower.  Growers are simply smaller out of the bedroom, but in the bedroom, they're just as big as showers.

The grower's penis may expand from 3 to 5 times its normal size while the shower's penis might only double in size. Furthermore, growers are much more sensitive to shrinkage, aka "the George Costanza syndrome."

It's as simple as that, so the showers out there can wipe that smug look off their faces.

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